Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
