Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
