Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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