we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
