im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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