Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
