Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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