yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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