This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
