i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
