Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
And then he peed in my hair
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