she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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