I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
