for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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