It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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