nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
