White coat. Heels.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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