I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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