I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
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He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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