Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
