what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
