o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Randomize
