That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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