is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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