I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
