Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm both gender and math confused
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize