That's intense
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i think my cat just said my name.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
