I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
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If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
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Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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