Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
then he tried to convert me to islam
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
