NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In other news, I just burned my penis
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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