haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
