win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
