I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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