i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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