Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
