Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
time to smoke my breakfast
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
And then my night got REAL pukey
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
