Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
