at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
