dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
