You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
