Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
