Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
