just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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