Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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