Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
