Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
