hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
