My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
