I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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