hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
