I'm going to jail i love you
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sorry about my life...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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