I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
being pregnant is like rehab
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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