is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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