That's when you crack a 10am beer
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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