dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
