Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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