Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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