We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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