She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
