Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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