Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'