Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost