I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
